How Can Introverts Act Social in a Social World?
An introvert is someone who enjoys alone time to recharge their social batteries, dislikes small talk, big crowds, and socializing. But here are some helpful ways and tips an introvert can relax during the social things they dislike.
Small talk, the unnecessary chatting before the actual conversation that has nothing to do with the main conversation. Talking about the weather or how your day was, are a few examples. But how does an introvert get through small talk?
To reduce anxiety before the small talk, try self-talk by saying to yourself or thinking phrases such as, “‘The anxiety is coming from me and my beliefs, not the situation. I can do this.’ ‘What’s the worse that can happen? If they don’t like me, so what?’… ‘I’m an interesting, worthy person with a lot to contribute.’” These phrases are from a Forbes article by Christina Park. These quick and short phrases can help with preparation for an unexpected conversation.
During the small talk, there a few ways to shift away from it. An introvert can ask real questions that can lead to a real conversation. Ask questions about you or your conversation partner’s passions. It will shift the conversation and there will a lot to talk about. If the conversation or topic of discussion reminds you of a short or long story, tell it. It could lead to them telling their own story and you telling your own story that reminds you of their story, and so on. And always add your own tidbits of knowledge, relevant information, or a new perspective into the conversation.
Introverts get anxious in big crowds, but how do can they reduce the anxiety? If you’re getting overwhelmed or feel a panic or anxiety attack coming, get out of there. If it’s a friend’s party or family gathering and you need to stay, you need to control your breathing. Slowly breathing in out of your nose and mouth, will calm you down. If you control your breathing, then you will have control over something. Mentally prepare yourself by imagining positive scenarios in your head. Take the attention off yourself by listening to other people’s conversations or watching people. Introverts are the best at this. Talk back to your negative thoughts, have a conversation with them. Or say you’ve gotten through this before, you can do it again. This situation may be tough now, but you have been through worse.
For an introvert, cutting ties with a person may be irreversible. Unless the person changes for the better. But it may be harder for the introvert if it’s a romantic relationship. If it’s an introvert-extrovert relationship, the introvert will need more alone time to recharge. The extrovert will always want to go out with people, so the introvert will need lots of alone time or time away from their partner. But if there is too much partying, there will need to be compromise. Maybe a few friends over or a night together watching a movie instead of a night out clubbing or partying. Don’t try to change an introvert into an extrovert or vice-versa, it’s their nature. This may cause more trouble than solutions. But if they are an introvert-introvert couple, they both need alone time and small gatherings with one or more friends are opportune.
Introverts might not get chosen by an employer because they seem stand-off-ish, have low energy, and don’t answer questions fast enough. But, if they follow these preparatory tips, they will have a better chance of getting the job.
Prepare for the interview by practicing handshaking. Practice, practice, practice your answers to common interview questions to yourself out loud and/or in front of a mirror. And practice with someone interviewing skills and knowledge. Write and say the answers in this order, “Make a statement, give an example to illustrate your claim, summarize the interview question and your response.” This is according to Barry Deutsch’s article on LinkedIn. For example, if the interviewer asks, “What are one of your strengths?” You could answer, “My attention to detail, which can be seen in my editing for Manatee, SNHU’s literary magazine. I looked for grammatical and syntactical errors in the poets and short story writers’ works.” (This is a specific example from my resume and experience, yet still an example.) Create and prepare a set of questions to ask the hiring manager for the end of the interview. Research the company before the interview, look at the website, demographic, and mission statement. Practice an hour or two before the interview, so the answers and information will be fresh in your mind.
During the interview, sell yourself with the qualities that make you an introvert, such as attention to detail, creativity, thoughtfulness, and work well alone and in a group.
After the interview, “tell yourself that you did your best. Even if you feel it wasn’t, there is always an opportunity to improve, especially now that you’ve gotten an idea of the questions asked and the personalities that are attached to a manager or supervisor.” This is according to Introvert, Dear’s Devan Davis. You can always learn from your interviews, even if you don’t get the job. Because each time you will get better and better.
Introverts can act social in a social world. You’ve got to fake it until you make it.
Bibliography
https://introvertinbusiness.co.uk/quietly-successful/why-introverts-dont-like-small-talk/
https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/tips-for-living-with-social-anxiety#2
https://www.thebalancecareers.com/job-interview-tips-for-introverts-2061355
https://introvertdear.com/news/how-to-survive-a-job-interview-when-youre-an-introvert/
