Tears of Another Young Woman
Jenny walked into her dorm room and saw her roommate, Amanda sitting on her bed crying, yet again.
Jenny set her stuff down and sat on her own bed. “What’s wrong this time?”
“I broke up with him. Josh was my everything, but I couldn’t protect him anymore,” Amanda said distraught and blubberingly.
“What are you talking about? You broke up with Josh? Why?” Jenny questioned.
“Yes, he’s demanding, bossy, and too protective. He only cared about the Sociology of Gender project we were assigned to work on together,” Amanda explained.
“What was the topic?” Jenny asked. She handed Amanda a tissue.
“Sexuality, he chose bisexuality,” Amanda said as she wiped away her tears.
“Oh, cuz he’s — -” Jenny said before Amanda interrupted her.
“Yes, I thought he changed for the better, but he changed for the worse,” Amanda said.
“That’s boys for you, they never change,” Jenny said.
“I know, but what do I do now?” Amanda asked.
“You move on and stop crying,” Jenny said.
“And how do I do that?” Amanda asked.
“I don’t know, but do you wanna get dinner at the dining hall?” Jenny asked.
“No, I just want to stay here and wallow,” Amanda said. She threw her blanket over her head.
“Suit yourself, I’ll see you later,” Jenny said. She packed up her things and walked out.
Jenny walked into her dorm room every day for the next few weeks. She tried to talk to her and she even physically pulled her out of bed. But she wouldn’t budge, so she left her there until she was ready to get over him.
A few weeks later, Jenny walked into her dorm room and found Amanda’s blanket on the floor. She threw it back on Amanda’s bed. She wondered where Amanda had gone. Then she
returned in a towel.
“So, are you over him?” Jenny asked.
“Almost, I might even go to my noon class today,” Amanda replied.
Jenny stared at her roommate, “Good, I let you get dressed. I have to go to the library before my next class to print something out. I’ll see you later.
“Okay, see you later,” Amanda said.
Later, Jenny entered her dorm room and found Amanda studying at her desk. Doing make-up work from what she missed over the past few weeks.
“Hi, Jenny, how are you?” Amanda asked
“I’m good, how are you?” Jenny asked.
“I’m okay, doing better,” Amanda said.
“That’s good to hear,” Jenny replied.
Next semester, Jenny walked into her Sociology of the Family class and saw Amanda sitting in the front. Jenny sat next to Amanda.
“What are you doing here?” Jenny asked.
“I signed up for this class, I like Sociology,” Amanda replied.
“I just took it to fill one of my gen eds,” Jenny said.
“I’m Mr. Cateno or just Cateno and this is Sociology of the Family. First, we’ll do introductions,” he said.
Cateno pulls the projector shade down.
“I’m Cateno and my family consists of me, my wife, and two kids,” he said. He points at Jenny.
“I’m Jenny and my family consists of me, my mom, and my dad,” she said.
“I’m Amanda and my family consists of me and my mom,” she said.
The other students said their names and families.
“Our first lesson is the different types of families, there are many types. To name a few, there are nuclear families, two parents and one or two kids, stepfamilies or blended families, with a new stepparent, parent, with the addition of the kids of a previous marriage. There are also grandparent families, in which the grandparent or grandparents of the child raise them,” Cateno said.
Cateno continued to talk about the types of families, yet Jenny couldn’t stop staring at Amanda. Amanda even winked back.
Through every meeting of the class they had together, Jenny couldn’t stop staring at Amanda. Am I falling for Amanda, my roommate, my friend? I mean I’ve been attracted to girls before, but I’ve never dated one, she thought while staring at her in class.
No, she’s not gay or bi, and even if she is, she’s not into me, Jenny doubtfully thought as she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t get off her mind.
Jenny walked into the dining center for lunch one day and saw Amanda with her friends. She heard Amanda’s specific laugh and saw the way she dressed. She kept staring at her until she banged into someone waiting in line.
“Hey, watch where you’re going!” the man shouted.
“Sorry, I was — -distracted,” Jenny said.
“Hey, Jenny, come over here!” shouted Amanda.
Jenny walked over to Amanda still in a daze. “What’s up? Jenny asked.
“You missed Soc. class yesterday,” Amanda said.
“I know, I overslept,” Jenny replied.
“Well, we were assigned to work on a project together,” Amanda said.
“Good — I mean, what’s the topic?” Jenny asked.
“It’s, well, we’re supposed to create an imaginary family and create a presentation about them. Including the family’s history, cultures, races, and faiths,” Amanda explained.
“Interesting, when’s it due?” Jenny asked.
“The thirtieth,” Amanda replied.
“When do you wanna start working on it?” Jenny asked.
“I was thinking we could start tonight,” Amanda said.
“Okay, I have some homework to do, but when I’m done we can work on it,” Jenny said.
“See you later,” Amanda said.
“Bye,” Jenny said.
Jenny imagined what their time together would be like, it would probably be like all the other times, but different, maybe.
Jenny did her homework in the library and looked at the time on her phone every hour, then every few hours. She wrote a few paragraphs of an essay, wrote out answers to some math problems, and took notes she missed from a Powerpoint online. She looked at the time on her phone once more before finishing her homework, it was 8:00 pm. It was too late to start working on the Sociology project. She texted Amanda:
Do you still want to
start the project?
No, I have an early
class tomorrow.
We could work on it
tomorrow night?
Sure.
The next day, Jenny skipped lunch and worked in between classes to finish her homework. She still had some homework to finish after her classes, but she worked as fast as she could to get them done.
That night, she walked into her dorm room and fell into bed.
“You ready to work on our Soc. project?” Amanda asked.
“Yes,” Jenny replied after she took a sip from her coffee cup.
“Are you sure? If you’re tired, we can work on it tomorrow,” Amanda said.
“Yes, it’s due in a few weeks and we need to at least start it,” Jenny replied.
Amanda opened up her laptop and brought up the instructions for the project.
“So, what are we supposed to do for this project again?” Jenny asked.
“Uh, it says here that we’re supposed to create an imaginary family and explain their religions, history, cultures, and race. How do the parents raise their children? Do they have children? We have to decide a few things like that,” Amanda said.
“Oh, okay. Do you have any ideas?” Jenny asked.
“Yes, actually, I wrote a few possible choices down,” Amanda replied.
Jenny took out a pen and changed some things and picked one. She handed the paper back to Amanda.
“Okay, a Jewish parent and a Catholic stepparent with kids from previous marriages it is,” Amanda said.
“See we already work well together,” Jenny said.
“We’ll see,” Amanda said.
Jenny opened her laptop, opened a word document, and started typing.
“So, what are some problems they are facing as an interfaith couple?” Jenny asked.
They both think and research.
“Will one partner convert to the other partner’s faith?” Jenny asked.
“No,” Amanda replied.
Jenny typed up the imaginary family’s story and looked up at Amanda every once in a while.
“I’ll write up some more questions and you can type up the answer in story form later. It will just be easier that way,” Amanda said.
“Okay. Are we done for tonight?” Jenny asked.
“Yeah, I’m tired and I have an early class tomorrow morning. I’ll write the questions after and email them to you,” Amanda replied.
“Sure,” Jenny said in acceptance.
Jenny covered her head with the blanket and silently screamed.
I just wanted to spend time with her and now she’s putting it off. What’s going on? Jenny thought.
The next day, Jenny waited for Amanda’s email and she constantly checked her phone all day. Jenny thought about emailing her first and writing out her feelings for her. But she didn’t know how she felt about her yet. She only knew Amanda a few weeks and her feelings just developed. She didn’t follow through with the email, she wrote draft after draft but never sent it. Once she got the email at a quarter to four, she was walking into the library. She heard the ping from her phone and opened the email once she sat down in the library’s cafe.
Jenny received a text from Amanda a few hours later asking if she got the email. She said she was working on it.
Later, Jenny walked into her dorm room and turned on the lights. She saw a note on Amanda’s desk that read “Went to a party downtown. See you tomorrow morning at Starcrux.” Jenny was confused, she picked up the note. When was she a party girl and why did she want to meet me at Starcrux? Did she want to talk? I don’t know, Jenny thought.
The next morning, Jenny arrived at Starcrux and walked in. She ordered a hot cocoa, paid for it, and sat near the window. She sipped her drink and waited for her friend. She took out her phone and scrolled through Facenook. Until she arrived.
“We need to talk,” Amanda said.
“About what?” Jenny asked.
“About the project, I got the email you sent me and I made some changes to the document,” Amanda sternly replied.
“Why couldn’t you just email me back the changes?” Jenny asked.
“I don’t know, but that’s not why I brought you. I’ve been avoiding you and I need to tell you something. I don’t like you that way,” Amanda said.
“What are you talking about?” Jenny laughed.
“I’ve seen the way you look at me in class. I thought — -and I’m not,” Amanda said in confusion.
“I know you’re confused, but I’m not — -” Jenny said before knocking her hot cocoa off the table and onto the floor. She rushed to the bathroom and pulled out some paper towels. She walked back and set the paper towels on the floor. She tried to clean the spill.
“Do you need some help?” Amanda asked as she knelt down and helped Jenny anyway.
“You know this is all your fault,” Jenny said.
“What? You spilled the cup,” Amanda replied in confusion.
“I mean, if you weren’t so cute, then I wouldn’t have a crush on you,” Jenny admitted.
“Aw, you have a crush on me! But I’m not — -” Amanda said in shock.
“I know, but I thought you might reciprocate,” Jenny said as she sat down.
“And we’ve only known each other for a few weeks,” Amanda replied.
“I said the same thing, but I guess, the heart wants what the heart wants,” Jenny said.
“I have to go, I need a nap after last night,” Amanda said as she picked up her purse and latte. She walked out the door.
Tears dripped down Jenny’s face and she ran out of Starcrux. A young woman tried to ask her what was wrong, but she wasn’t fast enough.
Jenny and Amanda continued to work on the project together, but it was awkward. They did most of the work through email and a collaborative document.
Jenny moved out of her dorm room and found a new dorm room with a new roommate.
A few weeks later, Jenny visited the same coffee shop Amanda turned her down.
“Hey, I saw you run out of here crying a few weeks ago and I was wondering if you are okay,” the young woman said.
“Oh, I just told my crush I liked them,” Jenny said without giving away too many details.
“Did they like you back?” the young woman said as she adjusted the bottom of her leaf print blouse.
“No, and why do you care? I don’t know you,” Jenny said rudely.
“I’m Candice and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I saw you with your friend, then I looked back and you were running off,” she said.
“I’m Jenny and I’m fine, I guess,” Jenny said.
“What wrong?” Candice asked.
“We’re not roommates anymore and I still can’t stop thinking about her. I mean. I’m still in her class and I see her. I just can’t stop thinking about her and what happened,” Jenny explained.
“I can sympathize, I’m still in high school and I have a crush on this boy. But I’m afraid he doesn’t like me back. He has a girlfriend right now too,” Candice told.
“Oh, that’s rough, they could break up any day or stay together forever. And you don’t want to tell him or he’ll have to make a choice, you or her,” Jenny empathized.
“Exactly, you get it,” Candice said.
“I’ve dated a lot of boys and I think you should do either, wait or move on. He’s probably not worth it,” Jenny advised.
“Oh, I know,” Candice said.
“Wait, how old are you?” Jenny asked.
“Eighteen, I’m a senior in high school. How old are you?” Candice asked back.
“I’m twenty and a sophomore in college,” Jenny replied.
“Well, I have to go study at the library. I just came here to get a latte before. Here’s my number if you need someone to talk to or text with,” Candice said as she handed Jenny a sticky note.
“Bye,” Jenny said as she watched Candice’s skirt blow once the coffee shop’s door opened.
A few weeks after the Powerpoint presentation for the family project, Jenny saw Amanda at the grocery store while she was shopping. Jenny and Amanda both reached for the last package of ramen.
“Hey, I need that!” Jenny said. She turned her head to see Amanda with her hair in a ponytail.
“You can have it, you probably need it more than me. Jenny? How’ve you been?” Amanda questioned.
“Good, I’ve been talking to a new friend and she’s been helping me a lot. How are you?” Jenny said in a happy tone.
“That’s great. And I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’m seeing someone now,” Amanda said cheerlessly.
“Good for you,” Jenny said.
“Well, I got to keep shopping. Have a good day, Amanda said.
“Bye,” Jenny said as she saw Amanda reach for a bottle of soy sauce. Jenny then rushed out of the aisle.
Who is she seeing now? What’s his name? Jenny thought of these unanswered questions. Questions that may never be answered.
It was junior year for Jenny and she was nervous after she received a text from Candice in the summer. It stated she got accepted into Ohio University and would be attending in the fall, now.
Jenny unpacked her boxes in her new single dorm room. She decided to work on herself this school year. She would exercise in the weight room and eat healthily. She also decided to switch her major to Psychology.
A few mornings later, she woke up to the sound of her alarm. She got ready for her first day back. She showered, got dressed, brushed her teeth, and brushed her hair. She put on her makeup and was ready for the day.
“Hello and good morning everyone. Welcome to Intro. to Psychology. This semester we’ll be focusing on the basics, the brain, interpersonal skills, and how society can affect a person. Later we’ll focus on how to cope. The skills and ways of coping,” the female professor, Ms.Feud or simply Feud
A student in the front of the class raised her hand and asked, “Which Psychologists will we be studying?”
“What’s your name?” Feud asked.
“Candice,” she said.
“Well, Candice, we’ll be studying — -” Jenny heard Feud say until she zoned out.
She stared at Candice, she wore a blue blouse with leaves printed on it. Her hair in a bun, ready to work and learn. She heard Candice say, “Okay, good. I look forward to learning about them.” Then she saw Feud’s lips moving but heard nothing come out, she was returning to space.
At the end of class, Jenny caught up with Candice and said, “I didn’t know you liked Psychology.”
“I do, it’s my major,” Candice said.
“Oh, so how are you since the last time we talked? Whatever happened to that boy you liked?” Jenny questioned.
“I’m good and he’s still with that blonde girl,” Candice said as she looked down.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Jenny said apologetically.
“It’s fine, I’ve moved on,” Candice said.
“Are you seeing anyone right now?” Jenny said boldly and still thinking about the only time she spoke with Amanda at the grocery store.
“No, I’m single and ready to mingle, at college,” Candice said.
“Good, cuz there are a lot of guys here,” Jenny said.
Over the next few months, Jenny saw Candice going from guy to guy. Jenny was there to console her, get through it, and move onto the next guy. But Jenny was getting sick of it.
It was time, time for the “how to cope” lesson in Introduction to Psychology.
“Now that we got the introductory basics out of the way, we can get to the good stuff, the ‘how to cope’ stuff,” Feud said as she pulled down the projection shade.
Feud turned off the lights.
“Today we’ll be going over the definition of coping, the coping strategies, and situations to cope over,” Feud said.
Jenny listened and took notes on everything her professor said.
At the end of class, her professor said, “Now, I will assign partners and their coping situation topics. Jenny and Candice, how to cope with a break-up.”
Jenny walked over to Candice and saw her blue skirt, dark blue blouse with leaves printed on it, and pigtails. Pigtails a sign of happiness and childishness.
“So, are you ready? For coping with a break-up!” Jenny facetiously.
“Yes — -I mean yes,” Candice said, her tone changing from discouraged to positive.
Jenny and Candice continued to talk as their professor assigned the other partners and their topics.
“Remember to use the information from your book and online, it’s due in a week,” Feud said once class was over.
“Let’s work on it in my dorm tonight,” Jenny suggested.
“Okay,” Candice replied.
That night, Jenny saw a text from Candice to let her into her dormitory. She walked down the hall and opened the door to let her in. She watched Candice enter in her black skirt and black blouse with red leaves printed on it. She led Candice to her dorm room.
“Here we are, my room. Sorry for the mess,” Jenny said.
“It’s fine,” Candice said as she sat on Jenny’s messy bed, the blanket falling off the foot of the bed and sheet off one of the corners.
Jenny sat in her desk chair and opened her laptop.
“I thought we could research and start writing the essay part tonight,” Jenny suggested.
“We’ll see how far we get,” Candice said.
“So, coping with a break-up,” Jenny said.
“This website has a list of ways to cope after a break-up. I’ll copy the link onto the Oogle document,” Candice said.
They continued to copy and paste links onto the document and type in it over the next few hours.
At the end of the night, Candice said, “We’ve researched enough for one night, I’m going back to my dorm.”
Candice packed up her laptop and notebook.
“Bye, I love you,” Jenny said, then covered her mouth with her hands.
“What did you say? Did you say you love me, like platonically right?” Candice asked in confusion.
“Yes?” Jenny said in agreement and confusion.
“I knew it, I see the way you look at me,” Candice said in affirmation.
“No, no, I don’t love you, I said it accidentally,” Jenny said in a tizzy.
“Yes, you do. That’s why you’re always staring at me. Watching my every move and looking at my outfits,” Candice said.
“No, that means nothing,” Jenny said blushing.
“I saw that blush, you do love me,” Candice replied.
“So what if I do. Do you love me?” Jenny nervously and boldly asked.
“Um, of course I do. You’ve been with me thick and thin, through every relationship I’ve been in the last few months. You’re my best friend,” Candice admitted.
“How about more than a best friend?” Jenny asked.
“Uh, I like boys,” Candice replied.
“So do I, why does that matter?”Jenny asked.
“Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, I only like boys,” Candice replied.
“But didn’t you come to Ohio U to be with me?” Jenny queried.
“No, it’s a good school and it had my specific major,” Candice replied.
“But didn’t you pick psychology, so we could study it together?” Jenny asked.
“You never told me that you were switching your major and I never told you what I was going to study,” Candice reminded her.
“Oh, right, but isn’t it fate or destiny that I chose to switch majors right before you started? We both chose Psychology,” Jenny said.
“No, Jenny, that’s a coincidence,” Candice said.
“Are you sure?” Jenny asked.
“Yes, I’m sure. I don’t love you and I never will,” Candice said with emphasis.
“I guess it was just a crush anyway, I have to move on,” Jenny figured out.
“Yes, a crush that will go away and you can move on from,” Candice said.
Jenny started crying. Candice consoled her and patted her on the shoulder.
“I’ll never find anyone to love and the ones I do like don’t like me back,” Jenny said downcast.
“That’s not true, you’ll find someone, just not me,” Candice said fortifyingly.
“I need some alone time, please go,” Jenny said as she pointed at the door.
Candice picked up her things and walked outside the door frame, “Call me if you need anything.”
Jenny slammed the door closed.
I thought she was a friend and I wanted more, but she didn’t reciprocate. Maybe I’ll find someone one day, Jenny thought.
Jenny dropped out of her Intro. to Psych class and signed up for another one next semester. She signed up for an online class to replace the one she dropped out of. She never spoke to Candice again.
Candice joined another group in her Intro. to Psych class. She moved on from Jenny, dated boys, and continued to study Psychology.
Works Cited
https://family.lovetoknow.com/about-family-values/types-family-structures
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201303/what-does-it-take-fall-in-love
https://www.livewritethrive.com/2013/11/20/show-dont-tell-how-time-is-passing/
https://ocw.mit.edu/ans7870/9/9.00SC/MIT9_00SCF11_text.pdf
